Note: I received a free copy of this book from Online Book Club in exchange for an honest review. You’ll Do Anything For Her: A New Relationship Perspective was selected as an OnlineBookClub.org Book of the Day. You can check out both the novel and other reviews here!
I have to admit, I was rather hesitant in starting this book. As someone who’s single, I was worried that I’d have no context, no connection to this book in any way. But I was pleasantly surprised by how deeply the authors are able to connect with each of their readers.
You’ll Do Anything For Her is a short non-fiction written by two sisters, both with their PhDs. Maureen and Berta delve into one sided relationships, and why they so frequently happen. Why do we seek out those who may not be the best for us? Why do some of us feel the need to silence ourselves in order to make relationships work? This short book helps begin the process of introspection, working towards a brighter future with better relationships.
What I loved so much about You’ll Do Anything For Her is that it’s quite flexible. While its focus is romantic relationships, I think everyone will be able to relate. Most of us (if not all of us) have at some point experienced a one-sided friendship, and some of us find ourselves in multiple. You’ll Do Anything For Her is adaptable to all circumstances, romantic or otherwise.
These authors make very bold choices throughout the book, one of my favourites being the decision to split the word “yourself” into “your self”. One sided relationships (or friendships) are partially because one person suppresses their self to fit the others needs. They are quick to point out that this is the fault of neither and has more to with how each person was raised. If you were raised in an environment that taught you to suppress your self, that gave you feelings of inadequacy and great guilt, you may feel that this is the only way to receive love. This isn’t a groundbreaking idea, of course. We learn from our surroundings, so it only makes sense that we pick up traits from our parents. But what makes this book so wonderful, so healthy, is that it never blames any party involved. Moving forward is not about placing blame, but about understanding and forgiving.
The authors are also the first to say that their book is not the answer to better relationships. In the journey to forming better relationships, therapy is truly the best way to discover your self. But this book can act as a fantastic first step. It allows you to open up to your self, and may even help you to let go of some guilt, or at least help you understand why you have that guilt. One of my favourite passages focuses on this, and how many of us are our own worst critics.
“You have held a double standard for your self. For her and everyone else, you’ve given plenty of chances, plenty of room to make mistakes, plenty of understanding and acceptance. You’ve been patient and considerate and loving. By focusing on you and building your self-awareness, you can give your self the same flexibility, the same understanding, and the same acceptance.”
This book was an incredibly easy, honest, and soothing read. Unquestionably something I would recommend not only to bookworms, but to everyone. This book is eye-opening for both ourselves and others. It allows us to understand our past and present relationships and friendships, and can help us all heal. I happily rate this book 5/5 stars and applaud the authors in working together to write such a fantastic book.
As always, thanks for reading! And be sure to check out the book along with other reviews over at OnlineBookClub.org!
Sincerely, Fiction’s Mistress